OK, this will be your last post for the semester. You must post your comments by Sunday December 5 at 11:59.59 p.m..
You're going to post your Ars Poetica. Sure, an Ars Poetica is about poetry and the art of creating poetry, but I think we can make it applicable to Pers Expos. Just go with it. Think of it as the answer to the statement why I write. You read Orwell's answer. You read Didion's. Really give this some thought and tell us all why you write. Heck, you've spent all semester in this course writing, writing, and writing some more about you and your life. Why?
Here's my Ars Poetica from a 2005 writing class I took during my final summer of grad school. While some things have changed for me as a writer, much has stayed the same.
On February 5, 2001 my mother had a massive stroke that left her paralyzed on her left side. Lucky for her she is right-handed. Besides eating and using the bathroom, the only thing she has control of is her language – most specifically, her writing. She writes every day. She writes letters, brief cards, quick hellos – you name it and she writes it. She enjoys writing because it is her way of communicating with the outside world, her way of staying in touch with her friends, her way of staying in touch with herself. And, as she sometimes concludes, “Writing is all I have.” So in many of the same ways, writing is all I have and I write simply because I can.
17 comments:
I'll admit I used to approach writing assignments with grief because I believed that my writing was never up to my teachers' standards. I have always tried to cater to my teachers, give them what they want, but I could never really achieve that in an English class. Their expectations for my writing were so abstract and were almost impossible for me to understand. Bad grades didn’t help my motivation in the writing process, but when I began to write for myself rather than for the grade, my view changed. The process of writing about my past, like I’ve said before, is almost therapeutic. I no longer hold off on my assignments till the last minute, but rather look forward to sharing my stories with others, and also sharing with myself. Through my learning, I can look into my past and my beliefs in an analytical way that I have never done before. Through writing, I can understand myself.
I write as an attempt to convey the most accurate form of the truth I can. I used to try to spice up my writing with fancy, poetic words to fool the world into thinking I was articulate and creative. However now, I simply write the words that best describe what I am trying to explain. Lately this has caused me to be very selective in what I include in order to have a central focus in my paper. I’ve found that often writing about the truth does not mean writing about as many things as I can fit in the page limit, but rather selecting the few moments that best can give the reader an idea of what I am trying to say. I still struggle though trying to explain my memories with the use of words. Trying to depict the truth is oftentimes a much more difficult task that writing what is convenient and most believable, however if I don’t write what I think is true, then my writing becomes pointless to me.
Before I would simply write because I knew I would be graded on the specific piece of writing. I never used to enjoy writing because it felt forced and obligatory instead of simply for pleasure. The last few years I have found myself enjoying myself simply writing because I had something to say and as that happened the words began to flow freely. I was no longer writing to please someone else or for that A grade. I was writing because I wanted to. I realized that I had been worrying about being articulate and grammatically correct rather then if I was writing something I wanted to write about or something I actually meant. Now when write I no longer solely worry about grades and teachers but I write what I believe in. Now writing is no longer about a homework assignment but instead I think of it as something I get to say and have an opinion on and because of this I believe my writing has very much improved. I no longer write to please others and because I am forced to, now I write because it is my way of expressing myself.
Communicating orally has never been easy for me. I stumble over words, speak in incomplete sentences; sometimes even my parents find themselves unable to decipher what I’m trying to say. It all happens so fast—someone asks me a question and I’m immediately expected to put words together with smoothness and cohesion. Some people do this naturally, but not me. The only medium through which I feel comfortable, through which I feel like I have total control over what I’m expressing, is writing. Writing allows me to spend as much as 20 minutes on one sentence, finding just the right words. It allows me to make sure the intended emotion and exact message are communicated. I write because it’s the only way I can express myself authentically.
The reason I write has not changed drastically since I began this course in August. I still write because it is required of me: next semester I will return to writing analytical essays, I’m still pounding out college essays, and every couple of weeks, I write lab reports for my science classes. And I still write for myself. Over the years, I’ve recorded important, sad, and hilarious stories from my daily life first in my Hello Kitty diary, then in my sparkly spiral journals, and now, on password-protected (<-- very important) computer documents. But through this course, I’ve also realized that writing is not just for myself to enjoy or for my teachers to judge my thought processes and analytical skills; writing is a way for me to share my stories with my peers, with my teachers, and with whoever else may be interested in what I have encountered in my 17 years on this planet. So, this is why I write.
In 4th grade I was assigned my first essay. They gave us 5 pink sheets of paper, each with a different header on top: "Introduction", "Body Paragraph 1", "Body Paragraph 2", "Body Paragraph 3", and "Conclusion". The task was daunting. Each night I tried to write one paragraph. And each night I cried. I forced my mom to help me with every word, sentence and paragraph of the essay. The essay wasn't even graded, yet I struggled to find a way with words. To this day, I still fear the moment when a teacher assigns me writing: it's scary. But now I write not because I have to, but because I know it's the only way I'll learn. The more I write, the more I learn how to, and the more I'll learn how to love doing it.
Writing used to be a long and tedious process of structure, textual support and analysis, always with the teacher's expectations adding pressure to it. While an essay topic may have been interesting, the act of actually writing about it was stressful. My words and ideas had to fit into a certain format, and was restricted with all kinds of guidelines and requirements.
Throughout high school writing has been one of my most difficult, and most dreaded tasks. An essay was always the homework I put off until last, and the homework that took me by far the longest.
But for me, writing my first expository essay was different than any other writing assignment I had done in high school. While typing it up, I was reliving a happy memory, and recalling aspects of it that had not crossed my mind in a long time.
In our forgiveness essay, I experimented with different kinds of structure and sentences then what I had been able to use before.
I still write because I have to. But the way I have approached my essays for this class is different that my past writing assignments. I am writing honestly, not weaving in B.S. that I think will please my teachers, and I am also bringing buried memories and thoughts back to the surface. This gives writing more of a personal feel, and not just because I am writing about myself. It also feels much more like I am writing for myself, as I have so much more freedom with how I go about my essays.
I have always written because I have to, not because I want to. For me writing is a long tedious process, that does not always turn out the way I want it to. I am not one of those people who can just crank out an essay in an hour, I agonize over my thesis, quotes and conclusion, and I have to read my writing over and over to check for grammar and spelling mistakes. I have never been truly confident in my writing, and I am always worried my teacher wont like it or wont understand the point I am trying to make. I write in more simple sentences than others and repeat my self a lot.
I dont dread writing assignments as much as I used to. I have become better at finding grammar mistakes, making theses and tying up the essay in a conclusion, but writing remains a very laborious time consuming task.
I know I will never be a writer or a poet, but I am amazed how far my writing has come from when I was a freshman. Though it may not be my favorite thing to do, I have become a better writer and I am more confident in my self when I sit down to write an essay or a story. I dont write for pleasure, but writing has become a little more pleasurable.
Over the past few months, my mom has said a countless number of times that I’m a good writer, that I have a way with words. In no way am I trying to brag, (trust me, my mom is no authority on good writing seeing as she won’t even write the family thank you cards) but rather explain my motivation to write. Having a supportive and thoughtful reader of various assignments, from term papers, to analytical essays, to poems, and personal stories, encourages me to appreciate the work that I have done and continue writing. While my mom’s feedback serves as a great source of inspiration, I have found lately that, on a personal level, writing has become truly enjoyable for me. While I used to dread sitting down to write an English essay, viewing it as tedious forced labor, now I love stringing words together and creating specific images in my head from memories, emotions, and even research! I write because it makes me happy.
Whoa -- these are amazing so far. My favorite post of the year!!!!!!! Awesome. And thank you or sharing so openly. I look forward to the rest of them. Mary
In the past I had written for the pleasure of the people in control of the final grade of my articulate piece. However, now I have managed to find the pleasure of writing for myself. It has been in myself for 17 years, but finally I have met it face to face and agreed that my writing would give me joy before it gave others joy. When I first learned about the 5 paragraph formal essay, I quickly became addicted to it. It has placed a strain on my English class life, but like others I entered rehab. The rehab facility was called Personal Expository Writing. It has enabled me to create pieces that I find are fit, instead of having to fit a certain guideline. Hopefully this addiction will not return in the future, but (cross my fingers) I am comfortable with writing anything outside of any directions someone gives me!
I realized in writing my autobiography, that the reason I write has nothing to do with the fact that my family doesn't communicate well, but that I had trouble communicating as a child. Being mute for the first four years of my life made it hard for me to communicate simple feeling of emotion with people, so I would always write them down: or do some awkward hand motions. I started writing in a small journal when I was three because I didn't know how to tell my mom what I was thinking, or who to answer her simple question like "what do you want for diner?" I had trouble organizing my thoughts, so I wrote them on paper so I could see them before trying to make sense of an answer. The way I use writing today has not changed at all. Today I still have trouble getting all my "ducks in a row" and trying to make sense of my thoughts so I write down what it is I want to say. I simply write to organize my thoughts and create sanity in my head.
I just really, really love to write. You'd think that after taking a writing class for a whole darn semester, I'd be more articulate about precisely why that is, but I got nothing in that regard. It's just always seemed to me that, besides love, words are the closest things we have to magic. Writing is my means of truth, therapy, problem solving, and storytelling, all combined into one. In writing, I can be ambiguous, powerful, detailed, concise, rough, smooth—I can do whatever the heck I want to express my story, or my poem, or my essay. Just getting in the flow of words, trusting them to guide me where they will, is such a rush; the result of looking at a fresh page of writing, or a screen full of words, fills me with a sense of wholeness, of linguistic petrichor. I just love it.
I write because in my family there are significant amount who cannot. Especially now that i am growing up, i have taken into account that for the members of my family, especially the ones born in El Salvador, have a difficulty writing not only in english, but also in spanish. They left in to America in their late teens, halting their education, for a better life. I have began to realize how a formally written essay is something my family views as magnificent. I have been always trying to improve my writing. Unfortunately to reach this improvement, i had to fail a couple times. Instead of viewing these as setbacks, i seen them as signs that improvement is needed. Writing has been my key struggle as a student and due to its significance in my future, it has been my main focus. My family has also put emphasis on writing and side by side we have been improving on our writing.We will probably not perfect it, but we can assure you that we tried our best
A very wise, young child once said to me that writing was a lot like talking, but on paper. The truth in those innocent words was lost on me for a very long time: I used to simply hate writing. For me, writing was the most gruelling and painful process. I was constantly plagued with writer's block, I lacked inspiration, I felt like I could never get my point across in the eloquent manner that I desired. Writing was too difficult and I yearned for the simplicity of spoken statements. I still write, for the most part, when it is required of me. However, I don't find free writing to be so intimidating anymore either. Although the assignments for this course were just that, assignments, they also involved an element of choice and freedom that I had never encountered in academic writing before. I now find writing to be more fun, more exciting. I feel more able to get my thoughts out in the open, to just write for myself. Though talking may be faster and easier, sometimes it is not a sufficient medium with which to express oneself. Writing is now a my form of release, paper is now a place to rest the feelings that overwhelm my mind, and the pen is truly mightier than the sword. Since I heard that child's words, I have learned that the real difference between talking and writing is that the spoken word is fleeting, while the written word, immortalised in ink on paper, can last forever. I write because I now see how beautiful that innocence really was.
I still have some of the same beliefs that I write because I have to; because I need to get a good grade for english and write those annoying essays. However; over the semester i have learned that the reason I write is so that i can transmit my experience. I have a unique story like everyone else. There is no other person that can say has the same background or experience as me. I learned that in my writing many people were able to learn more about who i was and where i was coming from. When doing the college app essay I looked at one of my questions and it asked, " what is your favorite quote?" I remember writing a quote by Elie Weisel " Not to transmit an experience is to betray it." I have realized that with writing I can let everyone know what my experience was growing up or even going to school. Although I hate writing analytical essays and because i have to do it for homework, I have realized that the reason i write is to transmit a different experience and bring something new to the table. I cannot just keep my experience to myself and betray it.
Since middle school, when my work began to gradually increase, I have been writing strictly for school. All of my writing since that period in time has been of a very structured manner; SPA, Intro, body, body, conclusion. But since the beginning of this semester I have learned to break away from the choke-hold that is structured writing and begin to have fun. As of late, I have begun to write creative pieces during classes when I'm bored (not Xpos of course) but the writing is always snuffed out by more structured, time consuming writing. Because of this class my outlook on writing has certainly changed. The break from structured writing has brought a much more positive outlook to me and I somewhat enjoy writing these days. The reason that I write is still because of school, but it has become a much different type of writing; writing that I can produce and feel good about.
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