You all posted some awesome lines and some great comments on why those lines stood out. Now, I want you to focus on sentence structure. Look for a sentence that moves beyond, way beyond, the subject-verb creation and dazzles you with either a fun piece of punctuation or an interesting structure. Then again, maybe your writer has a case of subject-verb-itis and repeats the same pattern so many times it makes you want to scream. Share and amaze .... and remember to post by Sunday.
In other news -- here's a good read about the
precision of words. Maybe you're a little obsessed with the English language, too, and would like to learn more. After Deadline, a NYTimes blog, is a great place to start.
18 comments:
"Not only is politics at this level an old boys club — and don’t ever doubt it — but women do face harsher scrutiny and, let’s face it, their appearance is part of the package."
I noticed this line because Parker actually interrupted her own sentence twice to speak directly and familiarly to the reader. Maybe this works to make the sentence seem less dogmatic; it's easier for us as readers to understand even if we don't necessarily agree. It gives the sentence a more conversational feel, because we rarely speak in perfectly constructed sentences when talking casually. I also think it gives the sentence a condescending, i-know-better tone which kind of bothers me.
The line is also cool because it uses a lot of punctuation -- commas, dashes -- but still rolls of the tongue pretty nicely. The best thing about it is how not-newspapery it sounds.
"After that, in my own eyes, I wasn’t just a keeper: I was a possession, a woman being kept."
-Deanna Fei
What stood out to me in this sentence was the use of the semi-colon. It made a very good and needed separation between the first part of the sentence and the second. I loved the distinction between being a keeper and being kept, and the semi-colon made that idea seem so much stronger. Overall, the entire way that this sentence is constructed makes it seem very powerful. The way that it is worded makes the reader stop and think.
"When they didn't blitz, he stood in the pocket, surveyed the field, thought about offseason workouts, wondered if he'd locked his car, read the latest Grisham novel and then hit nine different receivers for completions. It was surgical."
Wojciechowski uses the same sort of list structure as sentence 6 from the "why I write" list. He moves from the standard descriptions in every football recap to increasingly silly yet effective descriptors. He also used numerous short sentences and sentence fragments in this piece, and putting one after such a long-winded sentence here makes for a nice shift. The form also mirrors the content, with a long sentence describing how much time Rodgers had in the pocket and a short one to describe his precision passing.
"At its best, genuine interest becomes fascination becomes absorption becomes enrapture" - Wray Herbert
This line stood out to me because of its interesting sentence structure. Although I would never think of using a to be verb this often in a sentence, I think Herbert's repetition works. It's a smooth transition for his train of thought, underscoring the increasing intensity of his descriptions.
"Besides which, no one wants to give an inch, literally: not the Prospect Park West gripers who lost parking spaces to the bike lane, not the drivers of delivery trucks whose jobs are sometimes complicated by such lanes, not the Manhattan traditionalists who feel that sharing just a few of Central Park’s transverse paths with cyclists — as the city decided in July they must do — requires too much in the way of vigilance from people ambling among the trees"
This is an incredibly long sentence with a variety of punctuation and interesting structure that jumped out at me when reading it. Not only does it have good colon usage, it also has a list without ands like we talked about in class, and the dashes. The line is also very interesting within the context of the piece as it turns a theoretical argument into a concrete one. It gives examples of real life arguments to the city's creation of bike lanes, and allows the reader to understand the people making that argument. It is also very effective because despite its length, it doesn't feel like it is too long and it keeps the reader interested through the whole sentence.
"You seem to be engaged in a little circular reasoning/magical thinking here—you've concluded that he must be the love of your life because you didn't cheat on him, and you didn't cheat on him because he's the love of your life." - Dan Savage
I love this sentence because of Savage's use of slashes and dashes. Dashes are a very common crutch of mine - I like Savage's use of dashes because each dash feels like the calm before the "slay-your-argument" storm.
Many writers shy away from slashes because they can confuse the reader - in this case, I think the slash between "circular reasoning" and "magical thinking" serves to bolster Savage's argument, further pushing the idea that this particular woman is crazy.
Then it all sounded like a roller coaster, up and down. And then it just ... (pause) ... ended.
Reilly's column this week did not have much to work with, as it was mostly quotes about flight 93. However, this line stood out to me because of Reilly's use of 2 ellipses and a pause in parentheses to create a break in the sentence. Reilly effectively encapsulates the heat of the moment and perfectly creates a drawn-out somber mood. Usually a writer would use just one ellipse to suggest a break in the sentence, but Reilly uses much more than that because of the severity of the situation and the long-lasting effects the moment has.
"And they will be likely to extend their luck if, as we enter the next, critical phase of the war, they follow the same dictum: Do the opposite of what was done in Iraq."
For most of the article, Zakaria talks about the people of Libya and what they are planning for the aftermath of the war. This sentence stood out to me because he makes great use of the colon, by talking directly to the people for the first time. He smoothly connects his information from earlier in the article to his advice later, by taking full advantage of the brief respite caused by the colon.
The beginning of the sentence is also dotted with commas, and these pauses fit in nicely with the one created by the colon.
“I think e-books are finding their niche; what’s interesting is that they have a niche, just like cookbooks (which should not be on e-book) or self-help books (maybe, but if the book is really important to you, surely you want it within reach without fumbling through the commands to get to the right page for the right uplifting aphorism.)”
This sentence has punctuation galore. First, there is the semi-colon, which allows the main point of the sentence (the beginning) to hold its own ground, stand out. In the clause after the semi-colon, Carroll diverges from the topic to make comparisons. I enjoy how the subject and the elaboration are clearly separated. Then, Carroll goes on to use parentheses not once, but twice in the same sentence, which is rarely done. The first use is for a quick aside. The second parenthesis is a build off of the first use because we can assume the “maybe” is referring to weather it “should not be on e-book.” I find it comical how long the second aside is, because it’s like Carroll is rambling to himself.
"Ignorance deserves better. It deserves the counsel of someone who has experienced nearly every survivable ailment first hand, it deserves someone who won't judge for petty misunderstanding of human anatomy, it deserves someone who came really close to graduating from that free online medical course he took last spring." - Soren Bowie
In this article, Bowie rebuts the saying that "there are no stupid questions" and answers some of the most foolish medical questions posed by people online.
In these particular sentences, he feigns sympathy for these people by adopting a tauntingly assuring tone, conveyed through the use of a list structure. This repetition of the phrase 'it deserves' really struck me because it made Bowie's point seem really dramatic. It perfectly references his previous shorter sentence, and serves as a basis to continue his mockery. Without this, I do not think that Bowie could get his point across as wittily and effectively.
Speaking of 9/11 (and who isn’t?),.....The other participants were Serene Jones (wonderful name, and she lives up to it),
When reading this weeks column " Being on Being" by Hendrick Hertzberg I noticed his excessive and unique use of parenthetical's throughout this article. I thought it was really cool how he used the parenthetical's to pepper factual evidence with his own thoughts and opinions.
"Anything you do to try to boost the growth numbers next month or next quarter is going to be overwhelmed by the underlying forces — the continuing housing overhang, the gradual deleveraging process, the lingering mood of fear and anxiety."
I noticed this sentence in David Brooks' column particularly because of its unique and surprising structure. First, I thought that it was a very good use of the underused dash, and a very interesting way of beginning a list. The second thing that stood out to me was the list itself. It was interesting how Brooks just left the list without an end, almost as if he were about to add in phrase after phrase. Also, the fact that it never used the word "and" to signify the last term of the list was a cool way to structure a sentence.
"The majesty of the scene — snow-clad Mount Thielsen soaring overhead, the creek burbling below us, no one within miles — took our breath away." - Nicholas Kristof
This line first stood out to me because of the phrase "creek burbling". It is as if I can hear the creek right now. I also like how this sentence uses a dash to go from a general description to a more concrete example and then back to the bigger picture all in one sentence!
"The images of them stomping on Gaddafi’s photograph looked a lot more authentic, and will play better in Libya and across the Arab world, than did the images of Marines pulling down a statue of Saddam Hussein in 2003, an American flag draped over his head."
(Referring to the taking of Tripoli by the rebels)
In this sentence, Anne Applebaum compares two similar, yet different events that both shaped, and are still shaping, current history. The parallel drawn is very effective, as well as the equally important distinction between the two events.
Lam said he believed the victims were not legal tenants and that people "go in and out" of the residence.
This sentence struck me because it used a quote by someone from the scene of the crime, and therefore gives more voice to the opinion being used. Lee manages to be sneaky with this, however, and inconspicuously makes it part of his detached summary of events. This method is very clever in my opinion.
"There'd been the long presidential campaign, the disputed election, the move to Washington."
I liked this sentence because of Achenbach's lack of transitional words such as "then" or "next." It serves as a description of "chaos" in the article and I think that transitional words would break apart the events and make them seem more spread out and less chaotic. I also liked the structure of the sentence because of the repetition in naming the events. To the reader, this implies a sense of urgency in the voice of the author and adds to the chaotic feeling of the events.
"Now we talk tough and carry a gigantic stick, and from almost any vantage point other than Washington, that looks like the behavior of a bully."
I enjoyed Carrol's sentence structure here because through commas, he makes you pause at each idea of his sentence so that you are forced to contemplate what he has said for a moment before moving on and then at the end he ties together the fragments he has been slowly offering you throughout the sentence.
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