We've looked at crafty words and high powered sentences, now let's
focus on opening lines. Post the opening line to your selection and comment on its success or failure.
I love reading these posts. I hope you are enjoying what you're reading as much as I am enjoying what you're writing.
17 comments:
"I once lived within a short walking distance of a state line, and I had a friend who lived right on the avenue that was the dividing line." - Wray Herbert
After reading this sentence, I was hooked. I did not immediately know where Herbert was leading me to with his writing, and this suspense kept me intrigued. I think this sentence works well as an opening line because of its simplicity and imagery. Combined, they really made this article memorable.
"Unless you are an NPR loyalist, you may have missed a political drama unfolding far beneath the radar of human consciousness having to do with — okay, open your eyes — table-saw safety."
I thought this opener worked really well. Parker tricked me by beginning with a lot of general, broad terms -- "political drama" and "human consciousness" -- to build up the second part of the sentence. Then came the aside to the audience, which grabbed my attention by taking me out of the formal newspaper world for a second. Finally, the punchline to all the buildup, "table-saw safety" sounded silly and trivial. The contrast of all these different types of phrases made me want to know how they were all connected, and read on.
"Ball’s Bluff could fit into the back pocket of Antietam or Gettysburg." -Joel Achenbach
I really liked Achenbach's opening sentence in this article because of its creativity. He is trying to describe the simplicity and size of Ball's Bluff and accomplishes that by relating it to something that could fit into a pocket. Also, I liked how Achenbach compared his main topic (the Battle of Ball's Bluff) to two other related events (the battle of Antietam and Gettysburg). By being creative but at the same time focused in his opening sentence, Achenbach set up the rest of his article well.
"It was a snowy February day in New York City when my boyfriend of three months decided to go into his bedroom to look for his camera."
I like this opening because the reader knows it is going to be the beginning of a story. This first line lets you know that at first it was an ordinary day, but something is about to happen that is going to make it unordinary. I also liked how this first sentence is a little deceiving. When reading it I thought this article might be about taking pictures in the snow; or discovering new camera effects. But it turns out that the article centers around a pair of fuzzy eeyore slippers that the narrator finds in her boyfriend's closet. I like how this first sentence, although it seems disconnected, is needed to provide the necessary context for the rest of the story.
"A 24-year-old man was shot and killed in Antioch, police said." - Henry K Lee
Lee's opening statement continues to emphasize his typically detached tone from the pieces he reports on. While it doesn't necessarily 'engage' a reader in form, its subject matter immediately tempts one to continue reading the article to find out more about the story. Lee's directness is most present here, providing an eye-catching hook for the rest of his collumn.
"You should have seen it." -Gene Wojciechowski
There is hardly a better way to hook a reader than with a sentence like this. While it's not the prettiest or most literary way to express his point, Wojciechowski is certainly successful in gaining the reader's interest. I do think it serves his style as well as his purpose, as a fan at the game in question (Bills-Bengals) would likely open his description the same way. I didn't realize it at first, but this sentence also carries the implication that the reader didn't see the game, a viable assumption as neither of the two teams are exactly powerhouses. This gives a quick and easy introductory sentence just a little more depth.
"If Republicans seek a country with low taxes, little regulation and traditional family values, I have the perfect place for them."- Nicholas Kristof
I like this starting sentence because he is not afraid to state his opinion. Although this is a very biased topic sentence, it nevertheless caught my eye. When reading this opening line I can already tell the rest of the piece will be funny, and full of imagination.
"Barack Obama has apparently committed blasphemy."
Zakaria does an excellent job of starting with a shocker, yanking the reader's attention from wherever it may have been drifting, and instigating a desire to learn more. However, this opening line connects very little to the rest of the actual article. He discusses it in the first paragraph to introduce the subject, but besides that it felt more like a literary device than a part of the writing. Zakaria seemed to know that he would need a pulling sentence to grab the reader's interest, but he should connect it more to the actual topic so that the interest is not misplaced.
"Somewhere in America right now a Religious Studies graduate in white shutter shades is sucking the Pabst Blue Ribbon from his wispy mustache while listening to a pig-tailed girl offer her position on Metamorphosis. They are hipsters." -Soren Bowie
This opening line truly made me laugh. Like most of Bowie's generalizations, this particular one is light-hearted and very descriptive; I can easily imagine the people he's talking about. I think this description is key in an effective beginning, as it provides a clear background for the rest of his article.
"This is an interesting thing: My wife, Tracy, is in Africa."
I found this line to be a failure. First of all, the word "thing" is a very general, not useful word. Also, this opening sentence is so vague and unspecific that it doesn't draw the reader in. While it is good to have a bit of vagueness in order to leave the reader wondering what's next, too much of it leads to disinterest. Finally, he shouldn't have to preface his story with "This is an interesting thing." It should speak for itself.
"The white altar cloth in the Catholic Church of Nyamata is still stained brown with blood."
This simple, observational statement works well as an opener because it is not too dramatic, but still intrigues the reader. It is also highly symbolic, setting up the content of the article about Rwanda.
"WHEN she turned 38 last month, Brenda Frota Johnson got a sweet surprise: a formal “happy birthday” from her longtime partner’s mother."
I admit: I had to read this sentence twice to see how it connected to the headline. I think Bruni was going for a personal story as a hook into his article that then talks about same-sex marriage on a domestic and global level. I think the story worked over all, but I do think this first line was a little confusing because I didn't catch the "long term partner's mother" at the beginning and was a little confused. After re-reading it, it made more sense and I saw how he was showing the effects of Portugal's legalizaion of same-sex marriage at the personal level as well as the global level. This is not the best opening line, but it did the job and the rest of the article was really fascinating.
"Forgive him? Your ex wants you to forgive him? His friends and family are pestering you about forgiving him?
Good ******* God.
Your ex should get down on his knees twice a day and thank his lucky ******* stars that you didn't press charges." -Dan Savage
Savage immediately sets the tone for his response with this brash introduction to the topic - he has already made his point clear, a characteristic which I love in his writing: he gets right to the point and treats his first sentences as theses. In my opinion his use of explicit language was unnecessary, but needless to say it emphasizes his message.
If you really love your NFL team, you will root for its bus to fall into a sink hole. Or an avian flu epidemic to hit the locker room. Widespread jail time would be good, too.
Rick Reilly loves to captivate his audience early, and he stays to form in this column about Andrew Luck. Most readers of his column are avid sports fans, and thus huge supporters of their favorite NFL teams. None of these people want their teams to lose, even when it is for their own good. Here, Reilly tugs at the hearts of his readers, beckoning them to support their team's failure to win the first pick and prized possession Andrew Luck. The line and proceeding fragments work well to startle the reader, but consider Reilly's idea's consequences.
"Let’s imagine that someone from the year 1970 miraculously traveled forward in time to today."
David Brooks decides to get the audience involved as he introduces his article. The great thing about this opening sentence is that the article can really go anywhere from here, and it draws the reader in as they begin to narrow down the list of possible topics. It is this opening that does not really prepare you for what is about to come later in the article, and that is why it works so well as a hook; it grabs your attention and makes you begin to follow his train of thought at the same time you explore your own.
"A couple of natural-gas flares served as the community weather vane throughout my childhood in the coastal town of Marsa Brega, Libya." -Charles Lyons
What a great hook! It's intriguing and unique, and does a great job of setting the scene for the ensuing story. I know where the author grew up and am introduced to a childhood memory all in the first sentence. It makes me really want to read what follows.
"Lots of news of sexual assualt this week popping up in unexpected places."
Thank god Carrol tells me what this article is about in the very first sentence so that I do not have to skim the 2 page article instead. I'm in and out, boom, I like it.
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